Who knew?

15 February 2009 @ 04:53 pm

Tomorrow I'm going to play archaeologist. That's not why I'm excited. I'm excited because I'm going to see Rasha. She is a Syrian woman who I've excavated with since 2004, and she is spending six weeks in LA working on the material from a very important unit we dug for a few years. Tomorrow I'm going to see her and spend the day working on the material. Rasha is lovely, lovely, lovely. This picture is from the last evening we spent in Syria back in '07. It was just your typical evening lying around being weird. I'll also get to see Giorgio and Marilyn and Iko and the rest of the archaeology tribe. Nice.

In Tell Tamar with our cook Abu Asher to the left of Rasha, and our driver to the right. The wonderful Fonda (who now works for the ACLU in Boise) is sitting along the river.

In the excavation.

Syrian woman are awesome.

Leave a comment

09 February 2009 @ 09:55 am

Rainy Monday Morning

Dee-lightful. The rain is still coming down. Ah, this is winter, Socal style.
I just came out of four days of pretty intensive training with my teacher-to-be cohorts. Much love in that circle. And it was my turn to co-teach the Sunday class in front of THEM and receive some feedback. My perfectionist self has been relatively quiet and I've been able to receive the input with equanimity and the realization that their suggestions can only make it better. Where has the 'real' me gone? I am also in this new life of not-Xerox and different schedules and responsibilities and realizing that getting back to normal is not an option because 'normal' is constantly changing and moving and waking up to the way it is today is what I get to do. Good stuff.

2 comments | Leave a comment

05 February 2009 @ 07:54 am

Song in My Head

We like the moon, but maybe not as much as cheese...

Singalong with a Spongmonkey...

1 comment | Leave a comment

05 February 2009 @ 07:48 am

Year-end Meme

So thanks to

dasenergi for this meme which I first did last year. Yeah, I know I'm a month behind but that doesn't matter at all, at all. This is the first sentence of the first post each month from 2008. Not much seems to have changed, but other things have changed a lot. And it was a nice trip down memory lane. What an amazing year I had.

2008

Last night I went to my third New Year's Intention Setting with Noah and the Dharma Punx crew. Happy February! It continues. I started this post to track my journey through the last few months of my life while doing the Year-to-Live practice. My life is so full these days that it's like those old games you used to play. Yeah, it's Tuesday, but I've been thinking about last weekend a lot. I've been gone from LJ for ages and ages. I've been back from Syria a year. Checking in because it's been a while. Working two jobs really takes a toll; I miss my husband and my friends. Drinking coffee and reflecting this morning that I will finally be in my home for more than five days in a row for the first time in a month. I got home from my 10-day retreat about six pm on Sunday evening.

1 comment | Leave a comment

02 February 2009 @ 08:05 pm

Two-Two-Oh-Nine

Apparently I took January off from blog-land. Hmm. January is typically a long month and this was no different. I stopped working at Xerox on 12/31/08, and have been employed only by Against the Stream Buddhist Meditation Society since. It was a long journey, but once I walked away from Xerox, I have not looked back. As with anything else, I miss the friendships, but email is always there. Now there is the challenge of something totally new and different. My personal demon is self-doubt, but it seems to be hanging back at the moment. I've had a few nights of wide open eyes, but was able to stay in the moment and the day was fine. Fear hasn't lingered. Lot's of things have gone on in January.

-- I started teaching meditation at a couple of recovery centers and I am in heaven. I cannot believe how much I enjoy it, but I think the reaction of the people and how it makes even the smallest difference to them is such a joy to behold.
-- My niece Monica and her husband Kevin came out from Philadelphia and spent a week with us. Monica wanted to spend her 40th birthday in LA with so many of her friends. She is a lovely diva and had her party at the Biltmore Hotel in downtown LA. Now that's a swanky place. We had much fun that week.
-- I got another tattoo, this of a sock bunny over my heart. Retreat after retreat has brought up how much more time I want to be with my husband. For some reason we've called each other bunny for years (origins lost in the mists of time, you know). So I got a bunny over my heart. It's almost our 20th wedding anniversary so I've decided to make a commitment. Ha. [pictures eventually].
-- Cried and cried and cried over Obama and the inauguration and the important message he brings to us about taking responsibility and being accountable, oh, and being here for each other.
-- Inauguration day is also the anniversary of my father's death. He died the day Kennedy was inaugurated. I was five, but my brother, who was attending West Point at the time, was actually in Washington at a color guard or something. Those memories are always there.
-- Learning, learning, learning. It's all about learning new things all the time.
-- I read The World is Flat by Thomas Friedman. Greg my boss at Xerox told me I HAD to read it. It's great and so chock full of information. I don't necessarily agree that free-markets are a panacea but I feel I know so much more about the global phenomenon than I did before. And it's an easy read. Glad Greg is still my friend.
-- Gone are the 8-5, 40-hour work weeks. Now it's working when there is stuff to be done. Saturday? Sunday? Evening? Yeah. Ya gotta do what ya gotta do.
-- Is everyone an Aquarius?

And a bunch of other stuff. Hi everyone. Hope you're all well...Good to be back. I missed you.

2 comments | Leave a comment

29 December 2008 @ 03:20 pm

Monday

Life is like a pair of heavy boots right now. Picking one up and putting it down. Picking the next one up and putting it down. Yeah, doing walking meditation in combat boots. But it's a good thing. Xerox is slipping away, slipping, slipping, slipping. That's good too. That and all the Hannukah goodness we ate yesterday. Macaroons are my favorite part of Judaism.

1 comment | Leave a comment

28 December 2008 @ 11:57 am

Noon and Still in Pajamas

I've spent a few days playing Luddite and not getting on line. It's nice because I tend to 'go to work' and it's good to have some total days off. Each moment marches into the next. Friday I went into Xerox and cleaned out the drawers of my cubicle. I've been working from home for quite some time so there is not much there. But there are all those toys and life-size rats that people have left on my desk. That's a habit of 25 years. I have a huge box of wind-up toys and other odd paraphernalia in the garage from the last time I quit Xerox in 1996. Now there is another, smaller collection.
I also had lunch with my friend Linda from Xerox. We've known each other and been friends since the early 80's (when all those movies they seem to be playing on TV were new). She is transferring up to Washington State and leaves this week. It kind of makes it okay. If Linda is leaving the area, then I won't miss much at mother X. It makes sense. We went out and had matzoh-ball soup at the deli we've been going to since I used to be hungover every day. Actually, I had my favorite: kreplach soup and a half of a tongue sandwich. Oy vey.
Christmas was good and quiet. Sees Candy and coffee for breakfast. Chinese food for dinner. A Christmas Story in the evening. And lovely rain. And we got the cats wasted on some powerful catnip-filled socks. Oh, yeah, vicarious pleasure.
I did the sit at the meditation center on Christmas eve. Five people came and we talked about why we were there. A Buddhist-Christmas sangha. Lovely.
I thank all my bloggie friends for all the movie reviews. I want to watch more movies and have gotten lots of good ideas.
I'm feeling warm and comfortable and grateful to be in the moment. This may pass, but lovely to be here now.

1 comment | Leave a comment

21 December 2008 @ 11:52 am

Transitions

I may be dense but it's all in transition again. Aw shucks, it's always in transition except sometimes it's more or less noticeable. And then it's the solstice when the days start getting longer again, even if it's imperceptible. It almost makes me sad because I love the darkness and when I even think the days will be getting longer I start thinking about 100 degree days that last until midnight. Okay, come back to now when I have frost in the back yard and those lingering squash plants freeze over. I love this season of cold and dark. I am not even hating christmas this year but have found myself capable of playing nice. Actually I ignore it until just about now and then I can be in the spirit for a few days while the frenzy passes. Luckily our house is not frenzified. It's nice to be in the place of Just This Moment as everything whirls around. I don't get enough of that because sometimes it equals just lying around and doing nothing. Maybe that's what I like about xmas this year, the chance to lie around and eat chocolate for breakfast and chinese food for dinner.
Everything arises and passes away, arises and passes away. Today the fear doesn't grip, but is just seen for what it is, arising and passing away.

Leave a comment

16 December 2008 @ 11:30 am

Everything does change

It's Tuesday and the year is almost over. I'm really excited because on January 1, I will have only one job. I'm excited to have all my time to devote to working at the Center and doing what needs to be done. I'm excited because I've turned the corner and am okay with leaving Xerox after 25 years. It's been what I would call a lengthy transition with multitudes of feelings and fears coming from all directions. It's all about sitting with what comes and let go of trying to figure things out. Like I could ever figure out the future anyway. It's still a little bittersweet about Xerox, but the excitement outweighs it. The corner has been turned.
Oh, and that figuring out the future thing? Well, yesterday I got an email from the director of my archaeology excavations. They are working on the publications this February and March and need my help and will give me money. HA! I quit archaeology after 28 years and then they give me money. No, you can NEVER figure it out.

3 comments | Leave a comment

12 December 2008 @ 07:47 am

Religion is a lifestyle choice.

I love Jon Stewart; he's smart and funny. And last night I watched his interview with Mike Huckabee on gay marriage where he makes a cogent argument and Huckabee sticks to outdated, wrong and ultimately foolish talking points. Now that Sarah Palin is out of sight, I see Jon's next cause...

Leave a comment

11 December 2008 @ 10:33 am

Where I Live

Most of the time I live in a normal neighborhood, with normal people inhabiting it. I don't notice the Disney Dwarves on the building or the cartoon characters when I drive by the Warner Brothers lot. But sometimes, I am reminded and sometimes it's fun. Last month, driving down the block with a friend from Canada; yes, that's Jay Leno driving the old car next to us. Oh, he's always driving his old cars around here. Just a part of the neighborhood. Two weeks ago I was excited to realize I was behind Georgia Engel in the checkout line at Albertsons. She played Georgette on the old Mary Tyler Moore show, which I loved. That was a treat. Apparently she's been on a lot of other stuff I've never seen (like Everyone Loves Raymond). But last Saturday was my favorite. I was with a friend at Koo-Koo-Roo Chicken in Toluca Lake. I didn't have my glasses on and saw a mop of hair sit down at a table nearby. It reminded me of Robert Smith hair. I put on my glasses to get a better look. It wasn't Robert Smith, it was John C. Reilly. Almost as good. I've just seen Walk Hard twice in a month and was especially thrilled to see him eating at a weird fast food place with wife and kid. I like where I live. [I saw Mike Ness on Friday night, but paid money and knew he would be there.]

Leave a comment

03 December 2008 @ 05:35 pm

Catching Up: New York City

I got home from my 10-day retreat about six pm on Sunday evening. At seven am the next morning I was at the Burbank airport ready to board a plane for New York City. Some people might find that two ends of an extreme, but Manhattan is my home town and I was getting a free trip from work and how can that suck? Spending the day on a plane is a good reentry after a retreat. The only odd bit I noticed was at the Denver airport during a layover. I was eating a sandwich. Slowly. With my eyes closed. Then I realized I was not on retreat and should be more present with my surroundings.
Arriving in Newark, taking public transit to the city and the subway to the hotel. 71st and Central Park West, right across the street from Strawberry Fields. YAY. The room could accommodate the bed, but not much else. Who cares. I was working in my home town. YAY. I met my boss Greg there. He's from Alabama and had never been to New York before. He kept saying that if you see one tall building, you had seen them all. Lordy, I do think it's a little different...
Tuesday was election day. There were lines around the school up the block. We went down to work in Greenwich Village and there were lines around the block there. That night I took him down to the Theatre District. Oh look, CNN in Times Square. There's the FOX News building which people were avoiding in droves. And then Rockefeller Center with the huge NBC stuff going on. Oh yeah, election day in New York - media land. It was amazing. Ya know. I can't even describe the moment. Of course it was tinged with the sadness of Prop Hate passing here (a temporary setback).
I spent the rest of the week working all over Manhattan and the Bronx and showing Greg the sites. It was amazing to be paid to have fun in my home town. And I enjoy Greg's company. He is actually someone I can discuss religion and politics with in a civilized manner and disagree with most of the time; rare indeed. I think our ideas scare each other. And I appreciate this trip as a last hurrah from Xerox before I leave at the end of the year. I got to top it off with a 12 hour visit with my family much of which involved eating Italian and cleaning up my grand-newphew's rejection of the food. Fun.
It's all good.

Leave a comment

24 November 2008 @ 07:46 am

One Month Later

Drinking coffee and reflecting this morning that I will finally be in my home for more than five days in a row for the first time in a month. It's been a whirlwind and devoid of postings. Back in October, when it was summer, I went to Spirit Rock for a 10-day silent meditation retreat. This was my longest retreat yet, and lovely in someways, intolerable in others. I've been on retreats before so I knew that the first couple of days are horrible and was able to weather them with compassion. The teachers were lovely and Jack Kornfield is an amazing man who lives up to every bit of hype ever written about him. His presence in a room brings joy. I drove up and back with Joseph, an acquaintance of three years, but we talked non-stop the entire twelve hours and each are happy to welcome a new friend into our lives, us. My job struggles were foremost on my mind, but the strict training of the mindfulness practice really allows for getting deeper and to places our daily distractions don't allow for. Fear is a familiar visitor but always dressed in different clothing. But who knew that my keenest insight would be to spend more time at home with Chuck. I've had this realization before but maybe it's time to actually cultivate the time. It will be our 20th wedding anniversary soon so I think I'll dedicate the year. Let's see if I can actually do this.
The food was divine, I went hiking three times a day in the lovely hills, I did yoga every day and got 7 hours of sleep on top of the 10 or more hours of meditation. What a lovely way to spend 10 days.

5 comments | Leave a comment

22 October 2008 @ 07:44 am

Data Dump

Working two jobs really takes a toll; I miss my husband and my friends. Now I'm getting ready to go off on a 10-day silent retreat at Spirit Rock. I leave tomorrow. I get back on Nov. 2, and fly to New York City on Nov. 3. That should be an interesting transition. I'll be gone election day but finally got my Vote-By-Mail ballot yesterday. No on 8, in case you were wondering what to do.
One of my kitties has been really sick and we've be stuffing her with massive quantites of antibiotics. She's finally coming around so that's one less thing to drag along with me to retreat.
I just finished reading A Long Way Gone by Ishmael Beah. He was a child soldier in Sierra Leone. Read it. Before that I read Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson. He has spent years and years building schools in Pakistan and Afghanistan. Everyone should read this for a glimpse into the reality of these countries. It's such a big world and we get fed tiny little spoonfuls that serve the political purposes of whoever is telling us the story.
My worst nightmare will not come to pass: both the Dodgers and the Red Sox are out of it. I like the Phillies and the Rays. Should be a good Series and I'm sorry I'll miss it.
Watched "Walk Hard" the other night. It was really funny in some parts and I must say I enjoyed it. Some of the music is brilliant.

Looking forward to getting deeper inside and see what drives me to live the way I do. That's today's intention. Cheers to all.

2 comments | Leave a comment

08 October 2008 @ 09:35 am

Wednesday

Leave a comment

29 September 2008 @ 01:30 pm

Time's a flyin'

I think I've been avoiding this little bit o' writing because big things are afoot in my life and it's seems scary to write them down. Taking a new job; very exciting. Walking away from a job and people I love. Scary. Odd, but seems the right thing to do. I was in Rochester, New York last week at a meeting with the old job peeps. We were consciously in denial about my leaving, and had a good time. I gave my notice but they are still springing for a trip to New York City in November. Kind of my going-away parting gift. Nice. I've decided to stop trying to figure out what will happen in the future and just stay in the moment. Wow, what an idea!!
So, I'll try to keep this journal up because I think it's good for me. Hi to my buds out there; I just caught up with your lives.
Here's to Paul Newman.

4 comments | Leave a comment

06 September 2008 @ 07:17 am

Ramblings

Checking in because it's been a while. I hope all of you have been watching Jon Stewart. He has been brilliant covering the conventions the last couple of weeks. I think the gloves are off and he is finally saying enough is enough. His staff has no equal at finding the video clips that speak louder than anything else. Last night he had clips of John McCain's acceptance speech spliced with George Bush's acceptance speech from 2000. No difference. End of story. He also had a brilliant video biography of McCain, Reformed Maverick and how he changed totally after 2006 and there are so many clips of him contradicting himself. But the difference is now, he's a winner. Check out their website if you haven't seen this brilliance. And Sarah Palin is just Sarah Palin and if the country loves her it is not because we didn't do our jobs well enough, but because that is truly the country we live in. A lot of dust in the eyes.

I'm in my fourth week of my little meditation class that I'm doing on Saturdays and I'm loving it. How the hell did I get here?

I'm totally blond again although the woman who cuts my hair, and to whom I give free reign, had a moment the other day and I walked out of there looking like a bleached-blonde Eraserhead. Well, maybe not exactly, but my brain can't quite deal with the asymmetrical lilt. It's so subtle that it looks like a mistake and if she had shaved half my head I would be more comfortable. I'll be okay.

Had a phone call the other day. It was from a woman I was best friends with when I was little. She lived in the building next door and we were born on the same day; we haven't been in touch for over 30 years. She googled me, and there I was. I love technology. She's a therapist on Long Island. Hey, maybe I'll get some free analysis.

I'm going to see the Yankees play the Angels in Anaheim on Monday. I was afraid a year would go by without seeing a live baseball game. I don't know, I love going to ball games because they are so bucolic. Too bad I hate the fucking Dodgers because their Stadium is 10 minutes away. I have to drive to Anaheim so I don't get all twitchy and mean when I'm trying to be all tranquil and content.

My darling husband had a brilliant time at Burning Man. As I look at the pictures and videos, I am more and more certain that I just have no desire to go. It's very nice to know that instead of thinking I 'should' go and then really not want to and feel bad about it. Oh my, wacky brains.
Okay, that's enough for so early on a Saturday morning. Now we have to figure out when we're going to all these plays we have to see.

1 comment | Leave a comment

26 August 2008 @ 10:10 am

Giggles

Did I mention we saw Eddie Izzard live in concert a few weeks ago? Two hours of his fucking brilliance is wonderful, wonderful. I just wish the cheap seats weren't so damn expensive.

2 comments | Leave a comment

19 August 2008 @ 08:04 am

A Break in The Action

It's 8am and I've been at work about 2.5 hours. I'm supporting Texas again and have been having 6am conference calls. It's good that I can work from home and that we don't have web cams yet. The day is well underway. That's how its been lately. (Lately? the last several years lately you mean.) I go from one thing to the next to the next to the next. It's all okay. Last week I visited a friend who just spent 8 weeks in the hospital after a motorcycle accident. That's the other end of the spectrum. Truth be told, I hope my attitude is as awesome as his is on most days.

My little teaching deal went well, I hope. I'm looking forward to rolling this out over the coming months and we'll see how much I learn in the doing. It's all such a wonderful experience and I'm just savoring the current moment. It's a great moment to be in. I just wanted to say hi.

1 comment | Leave a comment

13 August 2008 @ 04:09 pm

Now, how did I get here?

Saturday I start teaching my own little class. A little meditation, a little Buddhism. I show up every week. Oh my. If you're not doing anything on a Saturday afternoon, come on down to East Hollywood. Oh my. How did I get here?

5 comments | Leave a comment